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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”4 [( F$ A" b f% ]
( r; E$ F4 g8 c/ X6 ^1 n1 k2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”7 [% |- r2 Y7 A0 C, X
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”! {; Q9 p5 R+ p5 r( z8 `
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3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。- C. V( i2 f2 B n4 D8 }# ^" u% a. n
2 |2 E2 ~9 B1 [女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。 m; U5 g3 c- }
5 e* b; Y' b$ A+ ?笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，; c0 f( B! {) k) F; A
- X, g$ e3 G% g3 ?* g我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!/ U7 o6 q: N4 P6 _5 s. e; ?
; Z% w* F( u1 v3 I7 u她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!- A, s6 y3 r& C0 x4 e( R# G
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，) x0 T$ {3 K+ R0 l
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”; u( p. Q1 Y! ?
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孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…
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( S* m# I- T7 K# n; v$ E3 F* I5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，" m2 q7 G- ]9 b7 Y2 U1 H
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！1 W/ b- D' @+ P# C4 z/ ]1 V
6 D- B& V4 {: n$ P' w一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。7 s" g* N$ u0 v& q' e
3 l% Q8 e4 I+ @& S* @1 W9 O9 G0 l当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？ y) K e' P" s3 H" j
" c! e6 P# L( F2 Q# v9 I! b6 Z$ n我，无业闲人一个。
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？& j% H6 T9 \7 i
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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