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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”; z' a# x" p: q" X
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”& b- O! \1 f) x' F+ H) @7 F( t
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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& T5 \$ z8 o- J& A( p8 s3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
+ A! C5 T. ^2 k7 M: L4 U. W3 u
+ V# J T( x" N" T# l* m% U4 Z老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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8 h; o. C& J1 S2 }6 G: k/ a女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。% e& V& T: w0 K/ Z/ F' i
: G( V1 {9 R& v R1 P* \笑死我了。。。
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4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!5 T( h" J4 H3 B1 C- p! u& X
0 n( g: T+ d" f" X/ F7 a N0 u她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!
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t: q+ l$ B7 w$ [3 S0 u7 l4 y晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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; `7 F: J$ s; K$ B; o) W+ {& N恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”( I. o% h: v3 V( r& I4 O4 z
# b* f9 v2 R) T4 u% b$ O孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…- O2 q7 m; N3 R+ Z |$ @
) b/ y) x3 w9 n$ N u# L. w5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，8 ^" H% G( e+ Z5 h# J; ~7 _' c0 [* C
- s4 O, V" l7 e我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！; n1 r) m9 W2 z9 g' y' M
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一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。! H! p- n$ w3 y, h
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？; S' f; Y6 u9 O5 N8 c+ H
% D% B; q2 O, a# |+ v+ j我，无业闲人一个。1 Y$ c1 h5 J1 y. } T
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？5 }. F6 [6 n3 O- {2 b3 |! X4 O) G
$ C' K: C& ]* T h我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…" |* I! m9 t3 u' c3 e6 q- ]! B# }
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当前离线
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