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[lastpost] => 2779526 打印 上一主题 下一主题 一直以为188金宝博是最靠谱最有实力的 然而不过如此！！ 1763459182 ghjkop
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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
8 L2 h/ A+ t4 v# f/ ]: L: r' G7 n
$ G, i& ~; u8 b1 ?8 R
a) b9 a( |+ [! @- k今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
0 c' f+ G7 T8 w D4 N2 J- F# _我先来！( `5 y2 O3 J' D/ N8 S
/ f! n C9 _- S8 j1 L; n) K1 ]/ s* ^) d1 I. u# t9 Y
A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”( Y! H d/ g1 i# ~- A+ o9 j8 m) B5 K
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
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, j/ H9 B2 g2 ]4 K3 m( [深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"' |3 }& f9 c: `( U, j, E. k
& G$ w' j; @1 _1 A- I! X
' Y5 U+ M* q `. A3 C1 v2 `一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，0 H! Z; A' ~7 g9 P( h$ m
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
& F4 u7 ]( p, a% T弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，6 Z2 ?) a' R3 m& ]% W
所以非常受欢迎。3 C+ v" Z2 e. ~
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
: R0 E" M$ B% k% A; S" l4 r% e/ Z问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”7 L" s8 n5 }1 R
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
- [) U0 b+ ^' e3 z回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：( a9 p2 j& ` z# ^# V
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
; f: ?$ `" V1 u% D! j9 X不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”6 ~8 u [7 z2 r3 G- h# I S& y4 Z
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
! [+ J1 J2 X3 L( I( {5 y生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
, `4 S+ r. `# E$ Y于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
, V! Y4 q& r5 g/ m! Q8 ^; U( ?3 y小明：不行. q4 q+ s" g% }
老师：為什麼？6 S4 P5 {& Z* w( n5 o4 V2 R
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分8 M, D# X( s: `/ [0 V G
小明：我是照你的话做的" ?% L6 z' j) N- B
妈妈：我说了什麼？
) Y4 \. D9 i! X ~小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
& s0 z7 x; _* c+ R. q她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，" m u6 Q# Q' p$ U: v- u: H7 t
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”. p4 T6 I }' s1 a5 k
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
. y' W# i0 A4 X* L" u# T妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？4 p7 U" F, P% B* d# d
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！" w, k) r- ?+ i& M
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ ! t& P" c2 x: D' `
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9 t4 U$ @1 v. q' ^/ a% S4 \3 \/ f1 Q大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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