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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
5 s. ?+ a' N8 e' b我先来！- H9 I" B1 K: \+ e4 _9 {
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”1 F# k" W7 j, z) L, r* d2 b- k
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
5 C( {+ j `: O; q/ }2 d, M( _/ G" a: S( Z$ t0 k. P
- H6 b( E) Q" R8 a; S深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"; B8 y) t$ @+ g. S) b$ u. I9 ~8 _
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，( D D$ b0 W$ l$ e( @) k! z: K
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
5 M- u2 Z- \5 d( i0 N+ f弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，% Z" L- K" L! P3 q p2 l
所以非常受欢迎。* s8 N: _: d" p7 G2 g/ i
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
0 O! V' `; c6 [; B3 k问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
7 G, U9 O" G d p6 x大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
* U/ P9 P/ b' w+ y回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
' c. s8 y5 R |7 E# i有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！( E. u: `* @1 Z. b5 _' i3 Y
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
! ~; R; [% ?( _% [她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪0 ^/ N, o j+ o" E' B+ l
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
! @' M3 p5 s3 p h* d4 C. R6 j于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。7 r, x* ~0 G1 _- C+ W( P
小明：不行
2 F# }" X) G, E3 J& `$ m+ n老师：為什麼？
4 G6 r% I( m' r: @小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分4 S- T' }1 K( }$ N8 p& G% N, t
小明：我是照你的话做的' u0 U, @( G; n) G/ V
妈妈：我说了什麼？
. b% Q; z9 P1 r! e- E小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
* h; l" d9 n0 z! ]她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，6 j, _5 U# B$ x6 z
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
0 q* w! {6 i9 a, z8 y& u小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？9 ~6 {/ K4 T+ \( O( m W O8 u9 n
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
L9 q& L% j# ^" o& Z小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
* H7 h8 S4 H# T) r h6 {6 i% x然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 0 K1 S$ U( Q% E2 W/ k
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。4 Q" x% r+ q8 o5 b$ O' A
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