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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐0 A9 B9 B, u' v% u4 B
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5 {; {/ L% H( J- o今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
# s; G$ ]" l7 `( Q0 Q我先来！: W @4 A/ l! n
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8 e P: D1 v3 vA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
+ Q7 r- n, Z/ A$ K D7 h. ?同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”
4 @ q9 E. X' R6 B& A9 W( a+ L0 q# ?5 a% b4 I0 }7 g
8 ^% f, ?# J* x# K4 \% y% ^3 i深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，
* M3 Z! D! e/ b, [' t. s+ u每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”- `; c+ R. A, r8 W" p
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
3 O) V/ m4 {, [% q0 }- c5 Q所以非常受欢迎。( Q' B# \+ B7 C6 B4 I9 g
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
8 L% s( R! v q6 E7 Z问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”4 j1 r- H) P% b
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，; F9 M1 _( L; V$ h% Q; E$ c! P+ D1 g5 q7 E
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：8 ~+ s, Q. Y6 E+ s7 A
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！2 P- c: x% v7 ?2 [
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”6 D, W1 C9 |5 a: h ~ I
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪* C7 Z6 N+ _' W6 g
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
! |& s' F* B7 x. X1 [7 n4 U于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。 @3 K. n0 z7 _. Q. R- F* B
小明：不行5 w; R0 B" p- z# ]9 b" y- p
老师：為什麼？
% L. M5 a2 _ I9 _" \7 _ u小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
/ l I2 L: p: ^4 ]2 I小明：我是照你的话做的- |* g. f0 t2 c# [) x: n$ z: T
妈妈：我说了什麼？0 C: ~% i% y/ M# |$ M n4 T$ ~
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分， |1 z) O y9 h8 W" q( ~, @
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
% b# B& ]/ I7 ^% r( C: r- C就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”8 ^4 z4 x+ u4 F2 w; ?/ v) e
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？) Q; ]1 _; s D# K' L& P
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？, D3 W2 P0 Y' | [- z i* D
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！9 {' g, `# i/ T# X3 j& d/ r8 n
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！
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9 M) i e9 @5 m( x% |; w9 a4 B/ y6 f1 P$ T4 l: [" @
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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