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1.局花
& K' e" K2 o: g+ g* R2 `- Z% M3 j局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，( W* G4 T6 C# Y3 m$ a, n, P5 @
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
5 z# g' J, } u0 _$ W小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。" T- V. }% C* C7 L, J1 b. @
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么 g) Q+ j2 Z$ d* `6 i( B
( `$ U2 k5 Y# C8 ~# O( a( {- [
2.媳妇
1 Q# o' o8 A# k( ~, S10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
, V+ E! t# {* ^" n1 b# n% V( c他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
9 I+ t! s) z3 Y0 B, f/ q8 S) Y2 s谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
8 q. i3 T% _/ i7 a% W* }评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
* n8 R/ l5 d: c2 d+ F: [4 a- d) v: I
# W, j/ [! W) s3.倒贴
4 i1 D9 |9 s9 Z6 h过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。' T) G" W; p7 I% C
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。8 w$ \, U0 F1 P; ~/ Y; [' M
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
% P8 q! O# E7 L* E. B老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”* s/ o% Y9 E% m& x3 Z
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
8 v' I" d* `8 l w9 Q5 ]$ L“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
. v8 j8 f/ {8 v- U评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊4 P+ R, }# k4 o2 x8 H0 d2 e7 }/ H0 L
/ a7 w% y, k6 Q7 }, S4.刺激% V9 v9 d; u/ @8 `" b
今天我走在街上，
9 q$ k' z6 e* m! J; c对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺5 u" { T D8 J* J5 C
，我心想完了。1 D6 ?& v- M1 n7 a4 R9 X
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
+ t8 Q' o; @9 Q" k“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。% W5 u# R& g( a. U2 [
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
; t1 f. \/ S* z. [6 V) M评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激' {) E- V1 G7 B- `. _$ @' I
7 h S! L* x( L; ?: A6 I& V& m
5.不加倍3 q6 B& y8 q* ?4 k' @% f( g" K+ Y
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
, o0 ]$ p7 Q5 Z3 g5 F: _* l( e今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。5 I6 O3 W4 f& u/ T7 T7 K
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”8 k5 I% D* V5 G, h ~. s
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”$ E) F" Y7 S! K, R( Q- r
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
9 k: u) ?% b. P) N Y$ ?1 _1 b: ~" o评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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