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1.局花
+ G+ C. J- i' e% B. Q4 ~, w局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，, _ w6 @- v1 T* P
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，5 x- Y8 K2 E% T. z$ `" b
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
7 [- F; U* o5 O- g评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么3 J' h o2 X. P, A
) G6 o s( Q {7 V) J' z- R0 z2.媳妇
' K$ A$ E) m) v10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
7 b$ O9 ?: p, h. C8 D他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
6 @; l. {/ t. C谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
& a# R! E7 o5 X' S/ T$ y评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
$ |; ?) ]( ^5 Z! I; t5 i; n! s
% x" Q0 y; }" ]5 z3 `3.倒贴
6 p" Z" U7 e1 c3 k过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
1 [" a( h4 U J+ O. T2 F于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
8 b- \# `2 A1 g1 G2 j* j- S! a, p. `老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”* ?7 G& {, Y! t V1 Y6 g1 V' J/ A
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”0 J5 b* H9 K9 |! b
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
) u' f9 q. U, q4 a/ q. c, R“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”2 b G4 O: [8 {; U9 k
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊6 F7 ~' e, I c4 J- |$ h: W( V2 z
! i% n$ C; i, i* y& n4 }) o6 D
4.刺激# \' A% y* e6 i- B5 e# k9 F
今天我走在街上，
) Q5 g4 H2 I9 G2 S5 A对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺, X1 b2 k' w7 A# P
，我心想完了。$ ]' r0 ^9 } B+ V) m3 \
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
, c. }, j) O6 A- d" t) N! o: X: }“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
. n8 H, c+ E$ |8 F0 n尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！9 ]7 g: A, [( S A$ }( H
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激
- X2 o& s' V0 O% P V( _$ T; v
! h; q5 H1 c7 f( M5.不加倍+ C+ e C0 S, w, F4 M
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
4 Q$ |2 [; E! y b2 i* B1 i今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。& y% {) u; i+ U6 v
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
* w. R' M' v% _" H小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
: x. O$ {$ Y0 t小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
2 Z8 R& C. Z8 c6 j( Z1 @评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的+ j& o. _8 B& u) r, b7 e
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