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1.局花( r5 ]( a- x1 y2 g- k3 j+ c' j: }
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，
' [) p( v- @$ M心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，3 B) \1 R& C4 J5 r! Q7 V2 Z, o
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。. u3 D4 R. f7 Z% X, s
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么' K1 p' r1 Q/ O# [
Z1 g9 @1 {# v* W# ]' F
2.媳妇. \5 {4 D F8 j6 {$ c
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。1 W) U4 g; q( \ d% d( d
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
( z+ V* u0 @/ q1 z. g5 b0 f谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”$ H5 `) o `- W
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺1 c8 b( M( o& b
: _0 G3 l1 ^: P0 ^3.倒贴# Z: J2 v6 o+ z' p/ y; D- C4 u
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
1 a- Q* G; p9 O) t2 d, g" X于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
' i; \9 J7 j! M3 q老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”/ R1 l' o2 e2 m Y! d
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”1 U0 \* N, S) X; @
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，% T, L) x7 w( K' A5 F
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”! e6 C5 o/ K, }4 w5 q( W+ a
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊; n8 V$ F- l5 f
5 O! D* K; @1 E u7 n3 o9 Q4.刺激! V4 N0 K( ?9 l- F) X+ D0 m* B
今天我走在街上，9 B& K$ m) ?; a2 q8 t+ p/ b8 \- s
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺2 x2 U: G/ P( X" p* d/ M! s
，我心想完了。
+ x1 A3 _. A) ~; R4 s7 v" R过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。/ t, t$ u2 c) X7 Q% b7 n
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
$ a- o* m' L& q F尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！$ x+ Y. s6 [, [. I( a) v0 o
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激( f" f; {3 o2 @
6 G: Z: D8 l$ x; m ?. `3 M
5.不加倍: T4 x% R: l* [6 P+ v$ ]8 _" R
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
9 @+ o P, m7 ?$ S& o今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
2 g5 E. V; w q- c- I! Y1 b. f$ }老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”6 N/ K$ p& d3 r2 F O( ^9 {
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”3 J: O# l! s6 d+ d6 L* q
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
3 E. b' d7 S' m评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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