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1.局花( Y! \5 _3 {# f
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，! S+ n% M5 }' f( R4 P7 M, l
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
. S* g4 `" s6 a) f( m. L小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。
* `! k9 X3 ~- P% N2 ~" k8 W评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
# T& r8 f" n# |9 I( s3 x1 l( r7 ~# }6 w, z. [5 F8 U
2.媳妇
1 Q6 C) t" C' |# _7 m l9 p10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。
5 v: d! @, A( A) e他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”. i2 f0 D+ P4 \. ~, k$ ` b
谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”$ N" g. K- {; V5 ]
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺2 p# v0 p, P; ?
+ o) B* P2 }+ r& @3 V+ x" D3.倒贴2 h1 Q7 n e. ]2 f. l
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。, c2 I5 O p; t. ?
于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
# b6 D/ X: }7 [3 x& `. I0 g老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”8 f/ Q) w6 _0 Q' x7 j. O
老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”$ ]* |# `- G! k! C3 w: w" I
话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，$ h$ w- I( ]5 |- k1 r9 I
“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”; K4 R, z) }6 \, n3 z
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
& H. X' s# }! V. G- l3 n( K6 b0 J+ f& V8 o$ {
4.刺激
6 ]& A) v% L- \今天我走在街上，8 }; R# ^7 F1 F7 g: D0 j/ P+ w7 C
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺
2 ~7 G# ?; D" f$ s; a3 o! ?4 D+ n，我心想完了。
# t* Z% g7 d! F; |& t6 U2 m" B) W' h过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
) ^- V1 a2 \* `“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。6 k7 E' q4 \2 R9 h* ^! z
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！' F: i8 O9 _3 D3 G% |+ `( y
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激, C9 g1 o6 X1 L7 R
$ D, J+ O$ M' ]* [6 o. {* l3 h
5.不加倍
, E1 w5 ?+ [- b6 T* S/ _. E5 t& [小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
% Q3 {6 z/ w5 J/ C$ X3 ~今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。( |2 H T4 }: G/ Y- J
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”' h- P% ?' W% e! c% x
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
0 E* p5 n# [. d7 S: o小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
6 F0 j7 u- z, c& y+ k% k5 q评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的, C7 @) ^7 t# s
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