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1.局花, H5 @" ]1 c* `8 w; I, c
局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，! T, w& K8 k8 Q0 _" [) i; t6 e4 l
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，
; T. c2 v; f+ _/ r5 j小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。+ F# n" Q7 y Z0 f8 ^9 Q- P
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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. T4 O' a F* P7 C2.媳妇) x7 l; V* E: L) v' T7 y* ` |
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。' Z5 l7 F% j7 c; k
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
4 x$ \' U2 J( k谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”- }6 t1 t' Z3 C" p5 q
评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺' h; L; P/ h$ \2 y/ y- w7 R% c
7 m$ ~, i- Y2 ]5 }" V0 j$ E2 L
3.倒贴+ I* n& F+ E: k1 g# j9 |0 f
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
# T: F% m; {2 Z* Y& h- F' d于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。& ]/ R% u. p+ r g' T
老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
4 m+ v# E& }% u! s" @8 h老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
. [8 n2 H/ L4 [; w1 T1 Y3 w话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
! ?; S: i( b2 Q4 H2 a0 t- s“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”! L5 H C9 |0 E. |9 X0 H8 u% z
评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊$ h/ x. l2 ^. E$ s4 a. D7 j' f+ l
' u* B, w" ^ C5 b* T' U- p s4.刺激& K" J2 p- s/ L% T; l
今天我走在街上，0 _. q& l: } v9 I
对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺 I, b% b+ _2 r9 B* |: @! S
，我心想完了。( y! z2 `1 p, n6 n% }
过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。; F! C2 k6 r3 V8 ~4 D7 V. j
“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。
! p% |6 _% z4 ?% s4 s/ k7 B尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！
. m) ?+ [% x) Q, x0 ^ n评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激' p( j$ q( L* G3 M
1 I/ q! i9 W3 D
5.不加倍1 P2 n W) ^. C* H* ?7 J
小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，
0 W6 J& |) L+ R今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。
: g/ Y6 @7 m$ }) a8 b1 l8 y老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”+ I7 m. L9 p5 H# P$ D' Q4 z
小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”6 T' F" W( w! ~2 Y, @% E1 X
小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”
6 M+ e4 [) U8 O8 }) x评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的
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