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1.局花
) o e4 ^6 z; s/ ?' R+ H) ^局里最漂亮的MM有了男朋友，一直暗恋她的小孙看到自己的女神被别人抱在怀中，+ O8 e$ T& B, _' Q4 t% z
心里很不是滋味，一连郁闷了好几天。同事们看他脸色不对，便问他怎么回事，) z/ b' Q3 C: L
小孙垂头丧气地说：“唉……局花被别人抱了。4 u8 ^9 j4 a. d' |
评论：兄弟节哀，这有凡士林你用么
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6 j! E9 m3 i& p2.媳妇; ]. \' G; X4 O) R! q3 t
10岁弟弟不好好学习，还和他妈顶嘴，把他妈气坏了。' N0 [# n0 w1 }5 i
他爸帮腔说：“这是我媳妇你凭什么惹她生气，等你将来娶媳妇了，我也这么气你媳妇你乐意啊？”
e* V$ ]; S$ {谁知弟弟上去搂她妈亲一口说：“那我敢亲你媳妇，你将来敢亲我媳妇吗？”
! ~! V6 X0 W6 Z+ u3 }) C9 i$ i评论：老爸在想，这孩子还是真孝顺
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3.倒贴) J* t1 ?* S) g' v1 s9 u
过年了，老张看别人家门上都倒贴一个“福”字，寓意“福到了”。
9 _) U8 x, O8 J+ K5 K8 D于是他就写了个“钱”字，也倒着贴上，寓意“钱到了”。
" H' E+ `; H R" `, D$ H3 V" Z( Z- Z老婆看见以后问：“这是你贴的吗？”
6 I5 g4 P5 @; D$ l老张得意地说：“是啊，我帖的！”
$ m2 a6 w3 ^ c$ q; e" ~话音刚落，只听“啪”一声，一记响亮的耳光抽在老张的脸上，
& q7 x) g% w8 Y3 q" Z8 Q“我让你倒贴钱！我让你倒贴钱！倒贴钱...！”
8 Q3 a( D. k/ {2 w& J评论：天朝语言文化博大精深啊
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5 r% a4 r. T' O! ^4.刺激2 V4 u) Z* |4 q
今天我走在街上，
8 O9 _5 w, `$ t @+ h对面过来一老奶奶，当我跟她擦肩而过的时候，她一把就扶住了我的胳膊，慢慢地就往下躺; x. @; d7 h) Z4 w" f5 H: g/ |
，我心想完了。
: w. p5 Z! S R" v' a过了二十秒，老奶奶自个又站起来了，拍了拍身上的土。
# D- ^! v" H5 `“孩子，刺不刺激，人生到处是惊喜。”说完就走了。' j) Y# G0 i9 Y0 O4 a, F2 n+ Q; R
尼玛，英雄不问出处！贪玩不分岁数啊！！+ N0 P/ B. V5 ~3 P# E, Q: l; @
评论：老奶奶走后我拿着她的钱包：确实刺激) A0 a1 i: E4 Q/ i) P
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5.不加倍
' r o" C& G# Q8 \$ R8 N+ E5 H0 i小明昨天熬夜玩了一晚上斗地主，1 v* r/ P0 M8 J8 i8 A
今天有气无力的到了教室，教室里正在开班会。" e: W r# c, t& ?, f
老师：“已经临近期末考试，但是你们的课堂练习还是太少，我认为作业应该加倍，你们认为呢？”
5 m8 B' d, u, C* s8 }, l小红：“不加倍！” 小刚：“不加倍！”
1 g, Y7 x, c- V! C! d小明顿时来了劲：“抢地主！！！”。。。老师：“滚出去！”, h2 B4 J n4 _( _
评论：尼玛应该先抢地主才加倍的/ ?! b5 f3 @1 \/ y% Y7 ~5 k
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