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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐6 q8 B5 u ]0 g8 S
" v) g/ {+ I6 w8 Q; @% O, \6 F* s& t' s; v9 r5 f& k6 H
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
' W* |. u2 m I0 a; n- `2 y我先来！
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A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”2 ]% J2 K$ k H* P: n: r
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”* h: b4 g% k4 Y9 a( s3 C3 X+ l
& w& E! @: s M1 L/ l' m
/ c2 c- T0 F2 h6 O深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"& P: u& _& p6 r: t2 z
+ O, @3 G" }% h) L
5 B1 z; J3 }! x8 f6 \* \一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，% m3 |9 G4 c- V% X9 T5 R
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
: N6 {: y" X0 x) [弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
; \4 Y) n0 Q' l a5 V8 z; x2 b% N所以非常受欢迎。, Q6 r6 d4 o3 f) n( c; h0 K$ N
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，7 o2 c) T! I5 N6 @. i: w8 @' I
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”: V1 b- V: u: E0 l
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
3 }+ {( ^. Y& c回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：2 g: l6 \% _0 H5 z4 U
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！' @; h7 T+ r# X" U5 g3 V
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”7 X% f& o+ e! f% J1 @, J/ I
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
J* }; U5 m4 u/ C. q6 C7 D生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
5 n2 U) }6 F; v# i+ K; U/ @于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
/ f: I6 f" r9 N- E) \8 S小明：不行) U0 k1 g, T3 a" ?2 l! }8 ]% D3 ~
老师：為什麼？
7 r0 C. v: g$ v" V小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分- s3 ~- U4 ^3 h2 v8 J5 o2 }: Y7 |
小明：我是照你的话做的
1 l1 t# [. Z7 k# q4 o) Q妈妈：我说了什麼？$ C+ Z4 t/ h: a+ r
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，8 m6 S/ s4 ~2 a7 j( C2 q
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，! g3 K2 d( `4 f- |" n
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”6 Z, r# ]/ S* p$ J. u: j
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？+ M3 L5 f' f2 g
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
/ x6 Q& ~; i# S4 Y2 B3 ?小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！; Y/ n# T) p* L7 M
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ . l2 @9 |& B5 i# ]& ?/ ?/ _
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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