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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
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" u1 {# _( g4 S* k" y- `今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！" L; B' ~0 l- ]
我先来！) @6 T/ z9 A( M
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" W! D- h5 b3 ~1 }- [A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
9 o! ?4 s2 a/ P同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”/ `3 F* A1 ]0 G7 E( S& V
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, [! F- M& B! ]. q" R深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"3 }- ^5 F+ T2 F/ F: E# g
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，1 j1 R: \% S0 T4 n3 c# r
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
; t }( H! D6 a2 Z) R& w: Z+ `1 J9 w弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，- t1 j! R& q0 P$ R; K- n% B4 }
所以非常受欢迎。; W% [& m, H, ~5 E0 p/ t6 E
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，" o$ P p5 L% s$ Y! _- [# i5 J6 y4 `
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”! C! o1 ?, p; K( V; a, ], P$ ]
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，: m f+ }% e4 e# Z/ l
回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
& P; r& Q% M1 K/ p& C4 N( k' ?0 A- ]有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！4 a9 r7 n1 X" [( }8 _9 o% `
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
7 c8 M! D8 z+ s4 U' H; j她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪. W8 F8 P/ O5 ]- q) ^' M7 G L5 `
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
: T" j0 x% j( U& d于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。7 O J1 a2 n2 h& H
小明：不行
: \% Y! U( E- P/ B老师：為什麼？4 N6 n& v5 A" T4 j# [
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
& _! X( C5 s c* J小明：我是照你的话做的' [3 v8 O0 u% v9 F+ i
妈妈：我说了什麼？
: K4 D2 \/ f, I! e) e# x; Z# h. M小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，9 E1 a2 V) q* _; I0 p+ a
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，, o b t6 v% Z, Q2 h, `# d- j5 P
就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”: C7 m0 A' u7 a. V5 ^
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？: _- t5 Y9 l& C+ {+ X" N) i
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
) E/ w1 x" L6 H" ?6 V: t小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！+ H8 u0 Y8 S# i1 O
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ , E; q0 T( {0 }9 R+ O; I
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7 I$ H q, B0 d" z# C大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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