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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道:“先生,您能施舍我50块钱吗?我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC,怀疑地问道:“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌?” 那人急忙辩道:“不会的!赌的钱我已经要到了!”
$ f" G; }3 S* N* V! G+ E( U8 o9 Z# p' V* H- e6 W) P# Y
2.有一个赌棍,每次DB都会带自己的女友去,而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了,问男友:“你怎么每次赌都带我去,是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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男友不屑地回答道:“你想哪儿去了,我带你去是吓他们的!”( b6 E' K" A3 G" c# F( Q5 Y- p
6 t( {" l0 F. P( O) U3.老公爱打MJ,有天上小学的女儿对他说:老湿说打麻将是Dubo,会被JC抓走的。
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7 ~0 i( D }6 l4 ]! H老公:怕啥呀,万一我被判刑了,你可以给老爸送饭啊。1 }$ H. E/ B. E' L+ m v7 D) \
" Y3 M0 o1 T g$ I+ O p女儿同情地说:万一判死刑呢。。。
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: H' ?$ ?: R! f: p' D) q3 @笑死我了。。。' f1 k4 T1 [ w+ s! R+ P9 ^
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4.我的一个小外甥女,有一次接她放学回家,3 O" e6 }. X* z9 D
9 D* F6 Z! h- C2 ~+ \: g4 c可能是饿了,一回家就要吃饭,
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+ J: S% C- V, t/ g+ Q) v我就想逗逗她:小妞妞,想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦,不然没饭吃哦!
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3 z) z- A3 j! q3 V% r; D她一听急了张口就来:人之初,性本善,要读书,先吃饭!9 s: C; O% L$ x" }% A& j
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晚上,孩子趴在桌子上写日记:“夜深了,妈妈仍在打MJ,爸爸仍在上网……”
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# ]' |9 O3 {( H' F+ s8 n恰巧爸爸走了过来,看到孩子写的这句话,有点不高兴,2 [* r: ]2 m4 y2 j; B- Q; i
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就教育孩子说:“日记不能照搬生活,要源于生活,高于生活!”$ f: m c1 g3 i% I# D% n3 e" z1 S7 D
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孩子听了,马上修改为:“夜深了,妈妈仍在DB,爸爸仍在网恋…
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5.两天输掉十多万了,我一天的固定收入才四千,+ z! G+ g w$ j% s4 o
_, `2 t8 [5 e2 m2 N4 @5 {7 W我不能再沉迷于DB了,该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了!, k9 o/ e% x. @# v; b
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一女看我留言后:你若能改,我愿意做你女朋友。' F/ b# z4 ]6 B; d1 E1 Z% B2 q
. D k' q8 q8 Z9 g! T0 J3 {当晚我俩见面开房,睡后,躺床上女问我:你是做什么生意的?
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( a3 s s5 O1 y/ C% L; C& m我,无业闲人一个。4 A9 l6 m, P9 T/ `3 l! v. T, Q
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女:扯淡,那怎么每天收入四千?
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我说的是欢乐豆,一天就能领四千豆。9 m* d- h+ e2 V1 ]' Z/ _ P! Z
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女:滚她妈犊子,滚…
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当前离线
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