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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐
4 ?8 F* w" a* ^* F( s! N
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# m3 g6 |+ ~3 b+ J, K今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
7 T( O) P% O7 c& f0 e0 X我先来！
% H3 y; K* v1 @. d' a s% ~# H% t2 D+ c% r! y. H: A) {
! k) S! N" }8 g1 |2 _% XA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”) w9 c8 X4 H" c/ t/ N
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”$ k) A0 z& f& E4 I/ _
9 G- k9 M: X7 j& [ X C, f
' _' r# q' g6 l; x) d% U5 }" _深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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3 X+ V, V0 |9 @/ M7 _9 M" V一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考， s3 k6 Y# a3 m6 _
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
9 R+ z) i+ d) Q6 i弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
* F7 |& _: B1 m* l& s! y所以非常受欢迎。8 c6 [$ w% u, M3 N' ~
第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，9 M; [6 S5 r" ?( b
问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”
/ W: P$ q8 m3 ~5 E* H# h! O/ s% N5 i" q大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
, y, V4 v* @% \- O* e回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：9 _9 _! Q" m) y8 q
有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！
7 [1 \6 ^. j& H4 v! C( @不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”9 t6 T' }, l% n
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪
j! Z5 c8 b3 s0 }. l生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
- ^* Q J% D" o( a8 P于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。2 G8 h& Q6 o+ Q2 O
小明：不行
+ X T) ^* Q/ g2 `3 z* m( |) H" z老师：為什麼？
1 C3 L; T' B3 K1 r3 e$ x小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
( S0 A) S7 b. \. p- c* P X8 n小明：我是照你的话做的
& ^) @2 n8 @$ a" F妈妈：我说了什麼？
( c! A, |4 Q+ b) w小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
. j; \* \4 ~) U$ `) ~) @! m她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
) o- O( K/ r! s; U' X% d$ ?就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”5 D: K9 G! j, a' }# ~& s
小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？0 u+ P7 I: f& @
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？; f8 C" [ b" B( O- P" ], F
小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！
3 {6 [; n l; D$ M# w/ @然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ & S! ^$ H! @6 l' S
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。9 c+ J: {! M! N
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