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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐( s% f# P" X/ Y. q9 I$ p
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今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！4 o9 e; G4 Z! Y" U5 `9 w, T6 ^* }
我先来！
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% A, }1 O7 d* ?: M
( G7 ?. Y: A- a% HA说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”
1 x- n- X4 X% X" k+ H/ M同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”) U m9 U1 x1 H( u3 Y7 q2 r
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; R! J# D# P9 I. D& z/ e( G! `0 s* {* O深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"
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一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，8 R# q& [3 I2 P& H- ~+ Q9 C
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”* ]7 v2 s m) T, c
弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，
) G. ]6 C; {3 |+ \, X所以非常受欢迎。
/ G+ l" I+ J0 ? S4 C第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
& B7 V# X' e& t- E7 W0 i问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”( r, p: K4 d) `/ Y
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
+ I4 D2 Y4 I7 S x5 E% t5 X回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
4 ?6 d7 K+ x0 A/ [, u" q8 P! }有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！% K9 F' l/ ?, a$ u7 q w1 F2 p
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”5 m: z% C9 ~+ V: a+ J" v
她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪$ u% h' G1 y* ?7 v: Z4 @; R9 H* G
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。
9 `3 \( b5 i3 v; h于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。
8 D. Q: s$ R; z8 c小明：不行! Z {9 q8 `3 q0 B2 Y
老师：為什麼？, M+ u8 m( a$ G4 S, Q% D
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分+ q- q" G2 t- M) g4 Z, U
小明：我是照你的话做的
/ ?; O5 B% H/ `& n9 P+ k- @5 u: w; ~妈妈：我说了什麼？" ]6 N1 t: [; w' I. ]( }) ~7 c
小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，) D0 `/ D; a! f/ t1 E; v* {
她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
9 g/ G1 d" C- _0 [; E7 I就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
* I2 p6 I2 H! a$ s$ E+ h& e5 o小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？" S6 P2 _/ w# E! x e
妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
7 D2 U& U3 h8 {6 ]7 U小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！, v7 W3 v* f; n
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 7 b' F. L: }4 U6 F& ^- R+ F
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大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。
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