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[lastpost] => 2779526 打印 上一主题 下一主题 一直以为188金宝博是最靠谱最有实力的 然而不过如此！！ 1763459182 ghjkop
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大庄家娱乐城祝教师节快乐——教师节段子
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带起节奏，送来欢乐 [* J9 v( j4 o2 c5 _8 ~8 f. g) v
) V4 q( A. U* ]! D# O9 S0 B3 L+ X: l( C
今天是教师节，大家一起来发段子吧！
: l8 y: q7 j0 b+ g% \我先来！
5 E7 D) z: z# \/ Z8 k( z
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j; \7 m; S G8 \A说：“今天考试我交了白卷。”Ｂ说：“哎，我也交了白卷。”4 K4 `$ x# A: h
同学Ａ生气的说：“你怎么能交白卷呢，老师会以为我们抄袭的！”' c0 k" `+ b7 |* j
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深夜，王老师批改完最后一份试卷，疲惫地拧开了收音机，想听音乐放松一下。收音机里传来了dj的声音："xx中学高三级x班全班同学一同把这首歌奉献给他们敬爱的王xx老师听，感谢他多年来给他们出了无数道练习题(尤其是这年)，使他们得到了宝贵的练习机会……"听到这，王老师的眼睛湿润了，心力交瘁的脸上露出一安慰的笑意。dj又继续说："……现在就让我们一起来听这首歌，李惠敏的《你不会有好结果》…"1 Y7 o z- A+ Q* P) R
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* E: h* e- Y4 m: R0 ~( b一位年轻女教师初次执教小学生美术课。她在黑板上画一个苹果问学生说：“这是什么呀？”学生异口同声回答：“是屁股。”女教师哭着去找校长，校长一听大怒，跟着老师来到教室训斥学生说：“你们越来越不像话了，为什么又把老师气哭了？”回头看了一看“啊！还在黑板上画了个屁股！” <span] 老师去吃自助餐] 昨天老妈教弟弟做作业，弟弟不动脑筋思考，4 a( i0 t- j' p
每道题都问妈妈，妈妈怒了：“你每道题都不会，干脆我帮你做算了！”
0 ?; ?* T" v$ Q# C/ y5 D8 W! K弟弟淡淡地说：“不行！字迹不一样会被老师发现的！” <span] 考场上一女生抱怨说：“老师，天气太热了，风扇都没风！”谁料老师说：“别急，等会儿看到试卷你就心凉了。” <span] 一帅哥毕业后到一所女子学校任教，由于年轻的男老师级少，, l# c, B- }. @4 @3 s! x& N
所以非常受欢迎。
5 F9 i3 C, F2 E5 Z( g! p1 O8 q第一堂课，有一位女学生忘记带课本，帅哥老师请她站起来，
f0 l. `# F( n# Q4 I问其他同学该怎么处罚。她们很有默契的齐声说：“老师亲她一个！”# K3 q t; X9 _: f, C+ ^: v
大家等着看老师的反应。老师瞄了那位同学一眼，
9 p& {! j/ {, X! `回答：“不可以处罚老师！” <span] 今天听见两个老师在讨论管理上课吃东西的事情说：
) N6 ^ D' L# m% Q有个学生老在我上课的时候偷吃瓜子，我毫不客气，见一次抓一次，一抓就是一大把！！！! l! G( A9 m8 D8 \" q& O
不知道是不是我的错，那个上课吃东西的学生，被我抓过几次，但最近一两个月都没看过他上课吃东西了，我整个人瘦了很多。 <span] 一小学教师，最近在学车却不怎么喜欢去练车，教练问：“为什么经常没来学车？”
$ V8 {! v: |% B3 j; d. Y2 A8 b她：“在学校都是我骂学生，来你这边老是被你骂，我很不爽！！！” <span] 上高中嘴馋，几个同学合计买烧烤吃，不想带回来的时候被班主任发现没收了，结果第二天班主任闹了一天的肚子。 <span] 生物老师非洲野猪; s" g" B& ]) H6 ~( n$ @8 k2 z/ r
生物老师正兴致勃勃在台上描述非洲野猪的长相，偶尔眼光一扫台下，竟发现多数学生在打瞌睡。0 ~4 C* [1 r2 ~% G
于是大为恼火，喝道：“你们要看着我啊!不看我，你们怎么知道非洲野猪长的是什么样子?” <span] 老师：小明，你的美劳作品太好了，明天学校要派你参加全市的比赛。- R# W; m& [ T9 h
小明：不行
9 `( j& R* s. V% w9 l4 d; X老师：為什麼？& x5 o4 }+ f a4 S; Y: e
小明：劳作是我爸做的，他明天要上班 <span] 妈妈：小明，你看，妹妹考100分，你才50分
5 x! f+ `+ D4 P( ]小明：我是照你的话做的
' J1 Z# k5 E9 U$ Y8 z妈妈：我说了什麼？
5 Y. w3 O& d/ @3 V0 A$ S7 g5 H小明：你说我只要有妹妹的一半就很好了 <span] 小外甥女刚上一年级，有次语文考试得了74分，
3 v: ^$ ]: l( B! x她拿成绩单回来的时候她爸妈很生气，
+ Z! o: H: y/ A! |$ N就问你为什么只考了74] 老师：“] 老师：现在上‘急救课’“先做口对口人工呼吸”“这样重复做，会怎样？”
- A7 u- Y. @5 g7 ]5 }小明：有人会告你性骚扰 <span] 小明放学回到家就问：麻麻，你不说女人都喜欢被夸吗？
' X2 Y: b; e* }9 a' s' l妈妈说：是啊，为什么这么问？
2 s& z9 X. G |7 j8 J小明沮丧着说：今天老师穿着超短裙来上课，我就夸老师，你的内裤好漂亮啊！( m( m, m$ n. S. C+ D6 H
然后，老师就给我撵出去了！！！ 2 V0 a. j- d' Q; ~# N, R3 S4 j" X
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# V" [ Y2 C+ j, k; b
大家每人发一个关于教师段子在跟贴后面，一起用关于教师的笑话来庆祝伟大的教育工作者的节日。& q* I p" p2 s# J& O0 ?
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