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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”
$ F- A+ [7 n! W
( F; I6 V# ]+ J2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”
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, H1 Z) ]9 s. [3 R! Z' n! q* h男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”
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; v6 n2 x; D9 |- o; ~. O2 [3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
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* u1 Q8 u$ H* V7 H6 U; p老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。
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4 s$ L+ l% N- u2 f3 m女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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) @% h/ s, P- m5 [笑死我了。。。% u- p4 B. ^5 ]6 M7 v$ E0 n! ~
1 ?9 a/ U8 I8 |! O* @4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，
* P+ p0 q+ |, @8 c" R, }4 ?
& p2 @2 j4 \& N% |可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，. B! F0 ~1 ]6 ~9 b
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我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!
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她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!, S& y4 c- H& D" Z* ^2 z( w3 A" L
9 G5 n, r$ d. u7 D" w5 s" v
晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
3 n6 D& w/ a: X! r+ Q' l4 |* k7 ]" P! c& P5 g; ]7 Z
恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，$ @ r! e7 {3 O0 c! J
/ K( b- L( n! z5 A) E! ^7 L就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”0 d6 t5 A6 H% m6 j* x
2 Y# D. f# ^2 |; }孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…( D, Q$ P' Z1 m8 w. O
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5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！) v) |+ \4 P# K3 G: m6 z3 G
% r+ g, }! V# E3 T c一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。% v6 R; k3 [- e4 i& U- h' }
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？* j; }, b0 Z* |# V" @$ Y
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我，无业闲人一个。# m& w6 M% p3 |9 z2 e; w: w
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女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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女：滚她妈犊子，滚…9 I, N& K. X; U1 D5 v
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当前离线
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