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1.赌城边上的一个生意人在街上碰到一个衣着不齐的流浪汉一样的人。 那人向生意人诉苦道：“先生，您能施舍我50块钱吗？我已经有两天两夜没有吃饭了。” 生意人瞥了一眼四周密密麻麻排列着的DC，怀疑地问道：“我怎么知道你不会拿这钱去赌？” 那人急忙辩道：“不会的！赌的钱我已经要到了！”2 d3 q1 X$ R0 N2 O
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2.有一个赌棍，每次DB都会带自己的女友去，而且每次都会赢!有一天女友终于按捺不住了，问男友：“你怎么每次赌都带我去，是不是想用我的美色勾引他们?”( g; p# b4 e3 _5 m% i& F0 M
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男友不屑地回答道：“你想哪儿去了，我带你去是吓他们的!”2 X W: }5 D; Q: x& R4 I! l9 U
- e. z. J: S$ g# T) v8 {( y3.老公爱打MJ，有天上小学的女儿对他说：老湿说打麻将是Dubo，会被JC抓走的。
8 f+ B+ P2 A$ V* d( g a8 S8 [9 f0 A' _7 u) t. E. o, g
老公：怕啥呀，万一我被判刑了，你可以给老爸送饭啊。! c" U8 k8 c8 N8 @; W3 M' W
5 g/ u5 ~) Q$ x, g. [5 w' }女儿同情地说：万一判死刑呢。。。
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笑死我了。。。8 b; U- [1 z4 F" Z
. H+ n+ }7 A9 P3 L4 N4.我的一个小外甥女，有一次接她放学回家，$ w5 o" I4 @0 D5 [! ^
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可能是饿了，一回家就要吃饭，2 ~7 L4 v- n* g+ m$ \. P
$ d+ t8 U6 C' W3 D我就想逗逗她:小妞妞，想吃饭要背三字经给舅舅听哦，不然没饭吃哦!& X: w/ H* h$ B
, k9 N. l! ]6 G她一听急了张口就来:人之初，性本善，要读书，先吃饭!: ~$ i1 A1 S0 B( B& t" G
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晚上，孩子趴在桌子上写日记：“夜深了，妈妈仍在打MJ，爸爸仍在上网……”
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恰巧爸爸走了过来，看到孩子写的这句话，有点不高兴，
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) x2 @3 }0 u$ X9 E就教育孩子说：“日记不能照搬生活，要源于生活，高于生活!”
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3 u9 h) w/ u/ }* p孩子听了，马上修改为：“夜深了，妈妈仍在DB，爸爸仍在网恋…# }; x4 j D6 A1 ?
; |2 [+ e* }/ E5.两天输掉十多万了，我一天的固定收入才四千，0 u$ k3 I# a4 X1 R2 S
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我不能再沉迷于DB了，该找个姑娘过正常人的生活了！
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' N3 F* e# n7 F; I一女看我留言后:你若能改，我愿意做你女朋友。! E$ M5 {# u0 E: Z& g
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当晚我俩见面开房，睡后，躺床上女问我：你是做什么生意的？/ O* a1 ?$ i6 @0 N
, ~7 X# I! W; F' K7 f) J% J- v我，无业闲人一个。
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7 v) G7 o' u5 s5 p女:扯淡，那怎么每天收入四千？) I% R9 a0 c7 o3 g t1 n6 e l
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我说的是欢乐豆，一天就能领四千豆。
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6 F6 B Y) P9 S/ X女：滚她妈犊子，滚…
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当前离线
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